It was impossible for Liza to attend any family event. She didn’t want to be humiliated by having an attack in front of people. She preferred to stay locked up at home. Tsiky felt satisfaction watching her sister condition worsen day by day. They tried everything to heal Liza. So much money was spent, paying different doctors who couldn’t figure out her illness.  Her parents thought that she was possessed by a demon. So they called a preacher to exorcise their daughter during several days. It didn’t work. One day Liza became unconscious; her family didn’t know what to do. Her husband lied by her side begging her not to die. Tsiky waited so long for this moment to come. Though it didn’t end up how Tsiky expected it to. Liza got back the little strength she had. Someone told her about a woman who was gifted to heal people. Liza went there weekly until she got better. The woman told Liza to be careful; because she was cursed by a person close to her. Her family told her not to trust her sister Tsiky who had a bad reputation toward their family. Liza thought deeply about everything that her family told her. Since the arrival of Tsiky a lot of things changed, especially concerning her health. Liza decided to fire her maid who became strange and hard headed lately. It wasn’t easy. Tsiky didn’t want to leave. She had no one to take her in; even her own family. She was terrified to live in the streets. She begged to stay but Liza didn’t care.

Liza’s life during that moment changed. She was obliged to do all the house chores which she hated. She had no choice. Liza was angry and frustrated to be left in this situation. It was either working hard taking care of her household or her life taken.

It doesn’t have to be a stranger or a friend who’ll betray us. It can be a family member too. Never say that my family or siblings will never do that to me. You’re wrong. You judge the person how they act in front of you. How well do you know that person? Everyone knows how to be a hypocrite, especially if there’s something they want to get. So in life always be cautious and not to naïve. People will just take advantage of you. What I wrote here is not a made up story. It’s really a situation that happened in a society. 

‘’ Patrick, yesterday when I passed by, you weren’t here. I was very sad. You promised me that you’ll always be there when I need you.”Mia approached him.

“Sorry my beauty. My buddies had suddenly a plan to hangout at Mahamasina. I swear I didn’t want to go, but they forced me. They said that it was the stupidest thing for a guy to stay home on a terrific Friday. We just ate and drunk beer all night. I hope you’re not angry.” Patrick explained; not daring to look at her eyes.

“I was very angry. Didn’t you notice that I messed up your entire room? I come here everyday late at night to visit you. You go out there to have fun with other people, how could you! I want you to introduce me to your friends. I deserve to have fun too!”

“Mia it won’t be that easy. I know my friends well.”

“You’re jealous! You’re afraid that they will hit on me. I want you to have a night party at your place, invite everyone.”

She was frustrated and left, he just laid there, feeling disappointed. He was expecting them to have their intimate moment together. He loved the way she touched him, till he fell asleep.

At work he couldn’t concentrate anymore. Patrick knew that if he didn’t introduce Mia to his friends, who knows what she’s capable of doing. He doesn’t want to hurt her feeling, especially make her mad. This girl is too precious for him to lose. Patrick poked his best friend Niaina, pretending to work on the computer though reading his emails.

“Tonight I want you to meet my girlfriend at my place. She really insisted in meeting my friends, but I chose you to meet Mia first.” Patrick whispered.

“I knew you were going out with someone. Why did you hide it from us, especially me your best buddy? Is she that hot? You’re the overprotective type of guy.” Niaina grinned showing all his yellow stained teeth.

“My parents won’t be at home tonight. They have some kind of family meeting. Come on over and you can sleep over too. They won’t mind.”

His friends always teased him about at his age still living with his folks. He didn’t care. Everything seems pretty cool, as long as he gives them the money they need. It was already 9 pm, Patrick paced back and forth in his room waiting for Niaina and Mia to come. He was nervous and excited at the same time. He wanted for such a long time to share his secret with someone. He knew that tonight will be the moment. Some knocked loudly on the front door. Patrick ran to open it up. There was Niaina standing there looking beat.

“Sorry if I’m late. I had an argument with my girlfriend. She wanted to come along, but I didn’t let her. I know that she doesn’t trust me. She thinks I’m screwing around. It was tough to convince her to stay. Is Mia there already?” Niaina said breathlessly trying to keep up with Patrick, who seems in a hurry.

“No, she’ll be here soon. Don’t worry about her.” Patrick replied.

Patrick told his friend to sit on the bed and wait. He felt uncomfortable. He wasn’t ashamed in being with Mia. She wasn’t ugly or anything just different from the other girls. He doesn’t want her to feel left out, and always be apart of his life. So she would be accepted by his friends and family.

“I want you to meet Niaina my best friend.” Patrick said, gazing across the room.

Niaina gave his friend an awkward look. A female voice replied softly “Nice to meet you Niaina”

Niaina turned around to see this mysterious person that Patrick never told him about.

His mouth dropped open and froze in his place.

“It’s a GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHOST!” the terrified guy shrieked and fainted.

“I told you my SECRET LOVE is special”. Patrick said proudly.

For some nannies, they hate feeding time, because it takes a lot of time. It does take awhile to feed a baby, who likes to take their time. So for those who are in a hurry, they drink the baby’s milk, pretend that it was the baby who had finished it. Some babies do starve of hunger or doesn’t get enough to eat.

The working parents told the nanny to make some tomato juice for the baby. At home, they have a well and inside water. The nanny hardly washed the tomatoes, and used the water from the well to make the juice. The baby got very sick and had a serious attack of diarrhea.  The baby couldn’t make any sound any more, and his mouth was just hanging wide open. If the parents didn’t take him immediately to the hospital, the baby would have died.

When I was told about that incident it really freaked me out. I decided to stop working, and stay home to take care of my son. Who knows when I’m not home, would happen to my son? Another reason I didn’t like keeping the nanny. She told me that it wasn’t good to take a baby often to the doctor.  She told me that she knew some home remedies to cure my baby if he gets sick. According to her, the best moment to take a baby or child to the doctor, when they’re really sick. She wanted to play the home doctor. Since then, I didn’t trust her anymore. If my baby was sick, she would hide it from me, and try to cure him herself.

Now I feel relieved. I’m the one taking care of my baby. I don’t need to worry about, how a nanny could harm my child. It’s tough juggling all housework and baby at the same time. You just need to get used to it.

For all parents and future parents, don’t take the risk in leaving your baby or child in the hand of a stranger. If you need to work, at least leave it with a person you really trust like a family member or a friend.

Reporter:  Thank you Mr. Feno for taking the time to come here today. I know you’re a busy man. To make my job easier, so I won’t forget any important details. I’m going to record this interview. You read my article about Painful Past. You accepted to testify about your past that you never told anyone, even your own family.

Mr. Feno: Honestly, it wasn’t easy for me to do this. For several years I tried to bury all my past. Now, it’s like I’m digging it up again. I know whatever I do; I can never run from it. You’re right I never told anyone especially my wife or children, even my closest friend what I’ve been through. I kept silent through all these years. Maybe it will help me to get rid of this heaviness off my chest. I carried it too long. I’m ready to talk about it.

Reporter: You painful past, when did it occur for you?

Mr. Feno: I guess around the age 6. I came from a big family. We lived with our parents. I had 5 siblings, and I was the youngest. We lived in poverty. My mother didn’t work, and Dad was a guardian. He wasn’t paid enough to feed us all. So they decided to send my older siblings to work in people’s home. My 8 yrs old sister and I were left to stay with them. Our life didn’t change. There are times that we hardly even ate or didn’t eat at all during a day. Mother would leave us alone at home, and go to Dad’s job. She would leave a small loaf of bread for my sister and me to share, until they come back in the evening. Or she would just tell us that she had no money, and left us there. We knew that she lied.

Reporter: Where your parents abusive?

Mr. Feno: Yes, they were, especially when we didn’t do or finish the things they tell us to do. Once I was sent to fetch water. The tin pail was too heavy. We weren’t allowed to help each other with house chores. I could barely pick it up, so I dragged it back home little by little. It was half empty when I got there. Dad was angry. He took off his belt and beat me with the metal part. He didn’t stop until I was bleeding. I couldn’t cry for help. If I did, I knew he would have killed me on the spot. So I was there, until his arm was tired. I had a hard time walking around for days. I’m grateful, it didn’t leave terrible scars.

Reporter: What was the most painful for you the physical abuse or verbal?

Mr. Feno: People might think I’m crazy if I say this, but it was the verbal abuse. I’d rather be beaten often, because the wound will heal. But when your parents tear you apart with their mean and cruel words, it hurts a lot. In your mind, you can hear the nasty things they say repeat over and over again. It won’t go away. At night, I even dream about it.

Reporter: You went through a lot during your childhood. What was the most terrible thing they ever done to you?

Mr. Feno: Ok, this is going to be tough. I know I have to let this out one day. We lived in the countryside, pretty far from town. Dad worked there. He’s often absent at home. He came home late at night, and they had an argument. They sent my sister and me outside, because they didn’t want us to hear what they were fighting about. That week Dad didn’t go back to work. Later on I figured out that he was fired from his job. Frequently, my parents had this private conversation between them. One day Dad told me to get dress, and go with him. At first I was surprised that rarely happens. It was exciting because my first time to go to town, and ride in a car. I had no idea where we were going. He told me that he had an appointment for another job, and he wanted to take me long as company. All I remember was that he held my hand, and we were zigzagging through the market. There were a lot of people. I was scared. He told me to wait for him at a certain spot, and warned me not to move. So I obeyed him, and stay there. It was getting cold and dark. I got tired and sat on the ground. People were busy putting their merchandises away, and heading home. I waited but didn’t see Dad coming back to get me. It was dark, everyone left except me. I was very hungry and cold. The last thing I ate for lunch was a small bowel of sugarless corn back home. My stomach didn’t stop growling. I waited and waited until I fell asleep on the ground. Someone woke me up, but it wasn’t Dad. It was already morning, he didn’t show up. The person told me to move from the spot, so I had no choice. So I was this 6 yr old little boy walking around this unknown place.

Reporter: Did you know how long we were out there alone? Did your parents come back to look for you?

Mr. Feno: I didn’t exactly how long at that time I was out there. I didn’t go to school, so I didn’t know how to read or even write my own name. No my parents never searched for me.

Reporter: I mean, how did you survive out there?

Mr. Feno: As time passed, I realized that my parents abandoned me. I didn’t know anyone or relatives in this town. Where could I go? I had to dig through trashes and steal in order to survive. Once I got caught stealing a banana at the market. The seller was furious, and dragged me to the nearest police station. The police were asking me all these questions, that I had no answers too. Finally they sent me to a place for orphans.

Reporter: How does it feel to be abandoned by your own parents?

Mr. Feno: It was more than painful. At that time, I kept asking myself what did I do wrong to make my parents hate me that much? How could they live in peace while their little boy is out there in a strange place, cold and starving to death?

Reporter: Now it seems that everything changed for you. If you see your parents again one day, how would you feel towards them?

Mr. Feno: I did see them recently. They’re old, compared to the last time I saw them. Immediately, they recognized me. They approached and wanted to hug me, but I back away. What really hurt me deep down inside. The moment in my life when I really needed their love and support they abandoned me. They let me go through all that terrible things. Now they know that I have money and succeeded in life. They want to know me. Through all these years, I lied to my family that my parents were dead. That’s the reason I was in an orphanage. I never dared to tell them what my parents did to me. It was a total shame. Suddenly, they appear in my life.

Reporter: Are you willing to forgive them, and start a new relationship?

Mr. Feno: I forgave them a longtime ago; I hold no grudge against them. But it’s better for us to stay our separate ways. Some people say that parents will never harm, destroy or take away the lives of their own children. I tell you that’s wrong. For those who had good parents think that way. They had a wonderful childhood, with precious memories. They can’t say all parents are good or bad. Each parent, mother or father is different. Don’t compare your life to others. If someone says that they have the best parents in the world, they have their reasons. But if others say that there parents were nothing but cruel heartless people, don’t blame them.  I believe that parents like mine, don’t deserve the love of their child. They made their choice to abandon me. I made my choice to stay away from them and protect my family to have contact with people like that.

Reporter: Thanks a lot again for sharing your life story with me. So I can write an article about it.  Is there a last thing, you’ll like to say.

Mr. Feno: I don’t have much to add, except it helped me out a lot talking about my past. My last message is that no child was born to suffer. It’s us, the parents who brought them in this world. Treat your own flesh and blood as you would like to be treated.

v My cousins and I decided to go to church one Sunday morning. Frankly, we don’t have the habit to go there. So we woke up early that morning and got ready. We were 4 girls, and I was the youngest at that time. You know how girls love to look their best. Our hairs were perfectly done, tons of make-up, short dresses, and can’t forget the high heels. We had no idea which church exactly we wanted to go to. We left the house looking like top models LOL! My cousin said we’ll go to any church we see on the way. There was this place which we heard people singing church songs. We couldn’t see the name of the church. Anyway we entered the gate, and marched in the church. I guess our high heels made too much noise when we entered. The preacher who was giving a sermon, stopped, his mouth dropped open. The others in the church turned around and stared at us. The four of us just froze like statues not knowing what to do. My other cousin whispered, for us to sit down quickly. As I looked around, I noticed that the other women wore long dresses, no make- up, and looked very simple and plain. The covered their heads with a cloth or a scarf. The strangest thing was that the women and men were separated. They sat on different sides. What made it worse we sat on the wrong side. Yep on the men’s side. A lot weren’t concentrating anymore. LOL! There was a moment they started howling, crying, saying incomprehensible things, and some even was beating their chest very hard. The four of us looked at each other. We’re probably thinking the same thing: are we suppose to do that too? We couldn’t stay in that church any longer. We got up slowly and walked out quickly. When we got out the gate their were some guys across the streets shouting things like: “Wow, if that’s what the girls look like in that J.M. church I’ll go there too.”

v People say that “amalona” which is an eel, is delicious. I never tried that before, and had no clue how to cook it. There were no adults at home except us kids. A seller passed by and we bought a medium size eel. So I asked my cousin to kill it. She told me to boil water. It didn’t take her long to come back. She said that it wasn’t her first time to cook an eel. She told me to drop it in the boiling water. A few seconds after I put the eel in the boiling water, and covered the pan. The lid flew off; the eel stood up like a cobra. The eel and I was looking at each other. I was terrified. We ran out the house screaming. I almost fell off our balcony. We didn’t dare to go back in right away. I asked her how she killed it. She told me that she strangled it the best as she could.

v There was a time, most of the girls here in Tana, dyed their hairs. I wanted to dye my hair too. So I went to a hairdresser, and she dyed all my hair a violet color. It looked nice on me, especially when it’s sunny outside. The color became more gorgeous. I really loved it. As months passed, my hair color changed into an ugly brownish color. I was pissed off. I went back to the hairdresser, and asked her advice about my hair. She told me that I have two choices: recolor it black again but it might turn brownish again later on or cut it. I told her to cut it as short as possible. Each time, she’d ask if I like how short cut it. I wasn’t satisfied, so kept telling her to cut it shorter, because I didn’t want to see the brown color anymore. She looked at me and said, I’m sorry but there’s no more hair to cut anymore. I didn’t freak out to see myself bald with little hair left. My scalp was visible. I thanked her and put my hat on and went home. When I got home, I yelled: Look at my new hair cut. There was nothing but silence. I got tried staying home waiting for my hair to grow back. One day I decided to go to town Analakely, and walk around. I wore baggy jeans, and a large t-shirt, sneakers and no hat. I wanted to show everyone that I’m not ashamed of being a bald girl. People were starring, and asking each other if I was a boy or a girl. I didn’t look ugly, cute in a way. They were confused what I really was because no girl will cut their hair that short, but the face looked girlish. The good thing is I got my natural colored black hair back.

v I always wanted to have a nose ring. I went to a store that pierces noses and ears. The man who was in charge of it, left eye was a whitish color. So it was his right eye that really worked. When he showed me the nose rings, which had pretty colorful stones. I liked it but, the nose was too big. I asked for a smaller one. He told me that for the first time, I have to use this huge nose ring. After one month I can change it to any I like. Ok I agreed. I was worried that the man couldn’t see well the spot to put the nose ring. It was quick and not painful and the right spot. My nose ring was looked like a closed rose, with a stone in it. On the bus, people were starring at my nose. A person asked me if it was real. I said yes. She asked if it was painful and heavy. I said no. When a month passed I went to buy my smaller nose ring. Months passed it started to annoy me, especially when I have a cold. I don’t like taking it off and putting it on. The side where the nose ring was started to swell. I had to take it off before my nostrils weren’t the same size anymore. Months and years passed I’m grateful the hole where the nose ring closed up. My nose looks normal again.

v I like going to the countryside. The life in the city and over there is so different. During the vacation time, we go the countryside. We entered a house, precisely the kitchen. There was smoke everywhere. They make a wood fire to cook their food. The family was just sitting their in the smoke, like it was nothing. I was choking and gasping for breathe. My eyes were stinging, and became red. I was blowing my nose every minute. They just laugh. We went there in the rainy season. I didn’t want to stay inside all day, especially in the smoky kitchen and not do anything. I decided to follow them to visit to go to the nearest market. To get there, you have to go through a vast rice paddy. The path was so narrow and slippery from the rain. They asked me if I know how to walk through a rice paddy. Of course I told them. They told me to take my shoes off, because it would be very slippery, and I fall in the rice. I had no choice and I did. The ground was squishy and cold. I didn’t want to go first, so I went last. The others had no trouble go through it. I could hardly move. My knees were weak and I was trembling. Who knows how deep the water that covered the rice is. I didn’t want to fall in it. Each time I take a step, I slip a little. Sorry it was difficult to keep my balance in this slippery path. They were already on the other side; here I was stuck in the middle of the rice paddy. It was getting dark. They called me to hurry up, I couldn’t move. Great, I thought to myself: here I am stuck and it’s dark. I’m not afraid of the dark. It’s that I’m night blind. What can be worse? They told me to wait for them there until they came back from the market. There I was alone. When I heard an owl hoot. I got goose bumps and my heart was beating so hard. I’ll let you imagine how I got out of there.

There were just some of the “craziest things I’ve done” that I’ll never forget. I didn’t regret any of it. Life will be dull, if we don’t spice it a little.